Monday, November 24, 2003

I'VE SAID IT ONCE BEFORE, but it bears repeating (or does it go without saying?):

Nobody ever -- ever -- is getting out of an elevator. So, if you're waiting for one, just lower your head, close your eyes and plunge right in as soon as the doors separate.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS SEASON, and you know what that means: French vanilla!

At least that's what the Cool Whip people think it means. Very odd.

Friday, November 21, 2003

I WAS A TEENAGE JFK-assassination-conspiracy buff. A lot of my "reports" and other projects in junior high and high school dealt with the existence of a second gunman. A CBS special 20 or so years ago changed my mind with a very simple experiment: They fired a rifle into a gelatin-packed skull or a melon or something, from behind, and sure enough the darn thing moved backward. Oliver Stone must have missed that one.

It was always all about the physical evidence to me. The idea that "this was too big to be the work of one man" is ludicrous. A guy, a gun, some luck, boom. Bullets work the same in important people as they do in anybody else. The idea today that 9/11 couldn't happen again if al Qaeda is on the run is similarly ludicrous. A guy who doesn't mind dying gets on a plane and subverts some rote security measures, and suddenly there's no Capitol or no White House or no Empire State Building.

(This is a repeat of a comment I originally posted to Tom Mangan's Prints the Chaff site.)

Thursday, November 20, 2003

THE EDITOR OF AMERICAN LAWYER MAGAZINE gets all eggheady and self-righteous in defending the insanity defense in a Slate article labeled as the opposite of what it is. Yes, Mr. Lawyer, how dare that rube Dennis Miller simplify this complex issue into a simple matter of public safety!

But that's not my main point.

My main point is about intellectual honesty. Mr. Lawyer talks about intellectual dishonesty, and then he writes that "Malvo claims he was brainwashed." No, Malvo doesn't "claim" he was brainwashed. Malvo's lawyer, Mr. Lawyer, picked the most convenient defense tactic, which was to claim that his client was brainwashed. What Malvo did, Mr. Lawyer, was calmly and clinically describe his love of killing people. Crazy? Of course. But so is killing a liquor-store clerk for 35 bucks. And I like Dennis Miller's simple-minded solution to that kind of craziness a lot better than the egghead solution.

(Where is Gunther Parche these days, anyway?)

Wednesday, November 05, 2003


Tuesday, November 04, 2003

IT WOULD BE an exaggeration to say Mandy Moore put out a cover album of my favorite songs, but she sure did choose a few that I love (XTC's "Senses Working Overtime," Blondie's "One Way or Another," Joni Mitchell's "Help Me"), like (Joe Jackson's "Breaking Us in Two") or feel a lot of affection for (Carly Simon's "Anticipation").

Listen to "Coverage," though, and the note-for-note versions of those songs and others add up to something less like a big-time record than like an A-plus final project for vocal-performance class. Or maybe just a very pleasant night at a karaoke bar with a prom queen who can sing pretty well. Mandy didn't exactly put her stamp on these songs. Of course, Mandy doesn't have a stamp yet.

If Jessica Simpson is the one who struggled with the meaning of "Chicken of the Sea," you could call Mandy Moore the one who wants Star-Kist to see what good taste she has. I'll stop with the tuna analogies before I get carried away with Britney and Christina.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

I'M NOT the only one thinking about that radio commercial. Still, I don't see why someone would have gone and done the research rather than just blaming Peter Gabriel.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours? Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com