Tuesday, November 02, 2004

I SUCK AT SMALL TALK, and not only because I'm a socially retarded dud. My biggest problem with small talk, I think, is that it consists largely of venturing wild guesses as though they were genuine opinions or even knowledge.

"So, who's gonna win Tuesday?"

(I don't know.)

"It won't be decided for weeks."

(Well, it probably will be decided on election night, but who knows?)

I am paralyzed by rational thought. If I were a "Star Trek" fan I could probably make some sort of Spock comparison, but, well, science fiction is far too far from reality to interest my rational brain.

High-profile criminal cases are especially festive for the wild-guesses-as-facts crowd.

"I think O.J.'s son did it."

Uh, you . . . think?

It's been said that the Simpson case was the start of a new idiocy in American culture, and it's hard to argue with that.

"I think the Jews blew up the World Trade Center."

Why, yes. Of course they did.

The inability to cling to a wild guess about an important issue would certainly explain my antipathy to religion. Who the hell am I to say, "I think the [Catholics/Episcopalians/Presbyterians/Methodists/Lutherans/Baptists/Jews/ Hindus/Muslims/Buddhists/Taoists/Confucianists] have it right and everybody else has it wrong"?

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