Wednesday, February 11, 2004

LET'S PLAY "DOCTOR." Turn on your TV and follow along.

Well, at least he uses his full name -- none of this Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Dr. Nick stuff. Oh, wait.

OK, let's see, Greg SEE-nuh-moan . . . author, former cop, talk-show host, creator of the Phonics Game, therapist, dream analyst, advertising wiz. But doctor? Uh, no. He, apparently does, however, have "both a masters and doctorate in psychology."

Ah, yes. The brilliant "we don't want your business" technique. Greg is definitely an ad wiz.

Ten? Peanuts. Fifteen? Now we're talking. This is the capsules.

And, oh, his associate Dr. Talbott. Last name only, so he's definitely a real doctor, right?

No, but Shawn Talbott is "one of America's leading lifestyle experts." He holds a master’s degree in exercise science from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and a Ph.D. in nutritional biochemistry from Rutgers University, and he looks impressively youthful.

LHJ, baby! Take that, New England Journal of Medicine! Eat my shorts, Lancet!

Did I mention that the first non-doctor mentioned above was an ad wiz?

Your tummy and your stomach.

Fourteen pounds? Don't sell yourself short. Fifty-one pounds? In your dreams.

Meanwhile, on the screen:

Doctors? Where? (I don't call myself a "bachelor.")

What money? Nobody ever said anything about a price.

And this is interesting: Shawn Talbott is one of the reviewers on Amazon.com recommending one of Dr. Greg's books! Sure, I'd do something like that, but probably not if I had the money that these guys must be raking in.

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