Friday, May 02, 2003

I CAN MAKE UP SHIT TOO. Where's my multimillion-dollar Hollywood deal?

See, there's this planet called Kellzogg. Tommy Lee Jones is Frootzoor, and he comes to Earth in a flying-breakfast-cereal-bowl saucer. His head is a giant Froot Loop. Get it? It's funny, because in real life people's heads aren't Froot Loops!

I don't want to give away too many more details, but suffice it to say that there's an old lady who says "wiener" (which is funny, because you don't expect old ladies to say "wiener"). And at one point a male cute robot space dog looks at a female cute robot space dog and it becomes clear that they will have sexual intercourse and then "I Feel Good" starts playing real loud.

Oh, and Will Smith and Halle Berry show up. In outrageous get-ups. And there will be special-effects sequences that will make you gasp, "They must have had to use computers to do that!"

Also, it turns out the old lady is an alien. This is funny, get it, because in real life most old ladies aren't aliens. Guess I shouldn't have told you that part, though. You never would have seen it coming.

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