Tuesday, May 13, 2003

ASS CLOWN. I'm probably years behind in my hipster lingo, but what a great insult! I'm told I should have heard it in "Office Space," but I just noticed it for the first time, in a Television Without Pity post about Alex, the "Survivor" loser who was white with rage, even months and months later, that anyone -- anyone -- dared to try to win the game rather than sitting back and letting him win it.

I still love "Survivor" and some its imitators (most notably "The Amazing Race"), but all this crap about "honesty and integrity" has got to go. Alex wasn't even really lied to, and yet he couldn't bear the idea of anyone truly competing against him. CBS needs to sit all the contestants down next time, before they're plopped off the coast of Panama, and tell them: "Now hear this! Lying is part of the game."

Other current ass clowns:

  • Jayson Blair, of course.

  • Golfer Vijay Singh. (Could he be that afraid of losing to a woman? I mean, Annika Sorenstam will be playing with the men under equal rules, so it's not as though there's some grand principle involved.)

  • And I've already mentioned William Bennett once or twice.

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