Wednesday, March 06, 2002

IT'S TIME FOR Grouchy Bill's Kelebrity Korner®!

  • Why I am I supposed to give a flying fuck (or non-fuck, as the case may be) about whether Joshhh Hartttnettt has to make the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE of refraining from fornicating with comely lasses for a month or two? All I have to say is, boy, I'm glad I never had to do such a thing when I was his age.

    Actually, that's not all I have to say. I'd also like to say I'm not sure resisting the comely lasses doesn't come, how you say, naturally to Joshhh Hartttnettt. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying. If I broke some sort of jude law, I'll mark it down on my heath ledger.

  • Is there a word less sexy than "sexy"? I guess a lot of people like that sort of thing, but that word tends to apply to the "after" picture glorifying a process similar to the one that turned a pretty Canadian girl named Pam Anderson into the grotesque, animatronic slut Pamela Anderson Lee Kidrock Whosnext. White hair, white-polished talons, orange skin and black-ringed raccoon eyes! Who could ask for more?

    I'm looking at the cover of Entertainment Weekly and seeing a picture of another grotesque, animatronic slut next to the S-word and the name of that cute girl who used to have a supporting role on "Felicity." What happened, Jennifer G.?

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