Thursday, September 13, 2001

PRESIDENT BUSH has declared Friday a national day of prayer and remembrance. If you're among those who use their brains rather than walking around like a zombie murmuring about people named Ezekiel, you might wonder what the point is of making requests to an all-powerful being who apparently gave the go-ahead to Tuesday's bloodbath. I think the following e-mail explains the apparent contradiction:

From: "God" (bigguy@heaven.com)
To: Bill Walsh (bwalsh@theslot.com)
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply
Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 01:14:52

On Tue, 11 Sep 2001 at 01:12:13, you wrote:

>>Dear Lord, tonight as every night, all I ask of you
>>is to keep my loved ones and me, and indeed all the
>>good people of the world and especially my beloved
>>America, safe and secure, and to stop evil wherever
>>it may occur. Amen.
>>-- Bill

I am on vacation until Friday. Prayers received before that will be answered in the order in which they are received. Thank you for your worship.

-- God

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