Saturday, January 13, 2001

YES, I WATCH "reality" TV shows. "The Real World," "Survivor," "The 1900 House" -- even "Big Brother." Fox's new entry, "Temptation Island," has made its share of enemies, and now it's my turn. You won't hear me complaining about the moral issues involved -- these people knew what they were getting themselves into.

I will, however, be complaining about these people: They are slack-jawed dumbshits.

And anything mean that anyone said about Jeff Probst goes quintuple for "Island" host Not-Marky Mark. This is the kind of host who uses the word "gentlemen." A lot. This is a stupid word. It has always been a stupid word, but in certain contexts (that is, any context after 1958) it is beyond ridiculous. My favorite such context, which has nothing to do with Not-Marky Mark but which I will share nonetheless, is when prosecutors and witnesses in a murder trial refer to the cretinous murderer as "that gentleman."

Anyway, to repeat, they are slack-jawed dumbshits. And I will keep watching.

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