Thursday, December 30, 2004
FUN WITH DIALECTS! I grew up in the land of this, with a father from here. It's a wonder I can speak at all.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
I ALMOST POSTED about this the day before Jerry Orbach died, it was such a great line -- and so Lennie Briscoe.
Yet another "Law & Order" rerun. Lt. Van Buren (S. Epatha Merkerson), who is black, couldn't understand how a black kid could be suspected of shooting up a school. She reprised the borderline-racist routine -- drugs or gang warfare she could believe, but this was a white person's crime.
"Maybe we've finally reached full equality" (or something to that effect) was Orbach/Briscoe's reply.
Yet another "Law & Order" rerun. Lt. Van Buren (S. Epatha Merkerson), who is black, couldn't understand how a black kid could be suspected of shooting up a school. She reprised the borderline-racist routine -- drugs or gang warfare she could believe, but this was a white person's crime.
"Maybe we've finally reached full equality" (or something to that effect) was Orbach/Briscoe's reply.
IS IT A LITTLE SAD that a couple of reality-TV contestants who smile and laugh and enjoy the experience instead of yelling at each other make me all warm and weepy and convinced they're the best people in the whole wide world?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
HOLIDAY GRAPHICS, PART 3: One more. My sort-of-sister-in-law (my wife's sister-in-law, or my brother-in-law's wife) asked for a subscription to Consumer Reports. So I presented this.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
HOLIDAY GRAPHICS, PART 2: My turn. To indicate an addition to nephew A.J.'s college fund, I created his own currency . . .
Saturday, December 25, 2004
HOLIDAY GRAPHICS, PART 1: Jacqueline got us a subscription to Casino Player magazine . . . and created this artwork:
Monday, December 13, 2004
TWO YEARS AGO we spent Christmas with my family in Phoenix. Last year we spent the prime preparation time in Las Vegas. This year we had no excuse not to get off our butts and decorate.
The downsized tree. (You can't really tell in this picture, but it's a small one.)
The downsized tree. (You can't really tell in this picture, but it's a small one.)
Guga and the downsized tree.
Gordie. Note Guga's Amazon.com bed in background.
Misfit Toys.
More Misfit Toys.
The greatest ornament of ALL TIMES. ALL TIMES!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
IF MY INTERACTIONS with Microsoft Windows were a conversation with another person (let's call him Mr. G), many of them would go something like this . . .
Me: Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: You know, before you start going off on a tangent about that, I have to tell you that the window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
[Click.]
Before you Macintosh types get all I-told-you-so-y, I have to say that many of my Apple encounters have been pretty much the same. They were six or seven years ago, I'll admit, but in a very short time dealing with a Macintosh I wore out the on/off switch, which was the only way to get the forever-frozen thing to come back to life, and each time the thing yelled at me for daring to use that switch.
Me: Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: You know, before you start going off on a tangent about that, I have to tell you that the window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
Me: Yes. Would you close the window, please?
Mr. G.: The window really needs to be closed. It's doing nothing for us. Would you like me to close the window?
[Click.]
Before you Macintosh types get all I-told-you-so-y, I have to say that many of my Apple encounters have been pretty much the same. They were six or seven years ago, I'll admit, but in a very short time dealing with a Macintosh I wore out the on/off switch, which was the only way to get the forever-frozen thing to come back to life, and each time the thing yelled at me for daring to use that switch.
Friday, December 03, 2004
MY FAVORITE Chowhound.com reply of all time might be this one, to a request for restaurant recommendations for Derwood, an obscure D.C. suburb in Maryland. It's a pop-culture litmus test.
